Why I Should be a Famous Writer

Hi! My name is Lor, and since you are reading this, you have stumbled across my brand-new shiny blog. What is the purpose of this brand-new shiny blog, you ask? Well, you see, I have no clue. Except that my lovely friend The Ginge (yes, that is a link) has been bugging me to start a blog. But mostly, it is summer and I am incredibly bored. Therefore, I need a project to keep me entertained. Even therefore-ier, this blog has been born. Picture a real birth with lots of screaming and such. Or don't. You know, whatever works for you. Now, I would love to be able to say "Hey! You can check my blog for updates every 2.6 days because I consume lots of fibre, which makes me so regular that even my blog posts come regularly!". However, I know myself much too well to be able to say that with good conscience. The reality is, I don't have much of an attention span, but I also have an incredibly obsessive personality. It’s kind of like I have a superdisorder. Anyway, this means you may get four posts within an hour, and then have to wait four weeks for another. However, if you live for surprises and don't mind long periods of waiting - ugh, too many words. You know where I am going.


So, now that I have introduced myself, let’s get to the main dish. Oh dear, don't let me say that again. I assume you all took the time to read the title of this post, so I will not bore you with... words. As I was trying to organize the disaster which is my bedroom earlier, I came across a yellow school booklet. You know the ones where there is half a blank page for a picture and then some lines underneath for words? Yes. Well, this one had only one entry, and judging by my printing, I would place it at around grade four. This is what it said:


"You never know quite when an elephant's going to sit on you unless of course you order it too or your best freind dresses up as an elephant and says hi I'm going to sit on you. But unless you're best freind really is an elephant they would not be a real elephant they would just be a fake elephant."


Sadly, there was no picture.


Grammar/punctuation/run-on-sentences/spelling aside, I think that is some quality literature. Pulitzer prize material, don't you think?




P.S. You would not know this unless I told you, so I will tell you that in the middle of writing this post, I installed a cork board on my bedroom wall. I even put cute little flower push-pins on it. I think I am going to re-arrange my room once I can see the floor.


P.P.S. You think I am exaggerating about not being able to see the floor? Well, I am. I can see the floor where I have to have room to open my door enough to suck in and squeeze through. From there, I must leap over some books (and other things underneath, I am sure) to my bed because there is no other floor space. Add hoarding to my list of disorders.