I Hate Mornings

Today, I had my second interview at Walmart. So I had to wake up really early. And get clean. So I rolled out of bed at the crack of dawn (okay, it was 9am), grabbed some towels, turned on the warm water and the radio, and hopped into the shower. Although, I did not actually hop, because that sounds dangerous and I would probably kill myself if I attempted it.

Anyway, after sudsing up my hair, I went to rinse it out. So I stood under the water and started rinsing. Then I did a dumb thing. I opened my eyes. Of course, as soon as the shampoo entered my eyes, I sneezed. And sneezed. And sneezed. And sneezed. Again and again and again. I must have sneezed twenty times.

My eyes, not having been rinsed out, started to protest. They did this by catching on fire. Okay, not really, but that’s what it felt like. So I rubbed them. This caused the mascara I was too dumb to remove before getting in the shower to attack my eyes as well.

At this point, I resigned myself to sitting in the tub, half under the stream of water, sneezing, listening to Sheryl Crow, and making funny faces in a pathetic attempt at trying to make the pain go away.

Just so you are aware, that is indeed Scarlett Johansson.

I am going to ask my mum to pick me up some L’Oreal Kids shampoo as soon as possible.

Eventually, everything was okay and I was on my way to Walmart. I got there, I sat down, I took out the identification they had asked me to bring, and the manager started talking to me.

Manager: Blah blah blah BACKGROUND CHECK blah blah blah SINCE YOU ARE 18+ blah blah blah!

Me: NO! I AM 16! SIIIXXXTEEEEEEEN!!!

Manager: Oh. Sorry, we have wasted your time this morning because SIXTEEN YEAR OLDS DON’T NEED BACKGROUND CHECKS! We’ll call you about a third interview soon. Goodbye.

And do you know what the worst part of the whole morning was? I had put on a pair of really ugly pants for nothing.